How to stay committed to yourself

Updated: Jun 17, 2021

Lately, for me, it seems near impossible to keep commitments to myself without a long line of excuses why I shouldn't. We keep commitments to others without a problem. But why is it so hard to keep a commitment to ourselves?

When I'm talking about keeping commitments to ourselves I mean sticking to something we say we are going to do. If you say you’re going to start waking up earlier, sticking up for yourself, working fewer hours, or eating better, those are commitments to yourself that no one else is going to do for you.

If your constantly setting goals and making plans for yourself but never reach the finish line with them. You are breaking your most important promise - the one with yourself. I found myself getting into this cycle recently and with a shitload of overwhelm and self desperation and I decided it was time to start making those commitments to myself and aim at keeping them, shifting my mindset, and prioritising my goals.

Now, before I go on I have to say.. Sometimes we fall off the bandwagon and that's okay, it's all apart of the journey of life, but it's the ways we deal with these "slips" that are so important.

Why is it important to keep promises to ourselves

From somewhere early on, it has been ingrained in us that taking time for ourselves is selfish. What is funny to me is that I know that's not the case, you know that's not the case for a focus on our own needs, so why do we break those promises?

Perhaps it’s a problem of self-limiting beliefs; it’s easy to think that we’re not worthy of achieving or getting what we want. We talk ourselves out of things by thinking there are more important things to focus on. Even if we have the time, we find ways to avoid it.

We plan as if we’re going to get what we want — we make lists of things we want to change, things we want to achieve, and the type of person we want to be. But when it comes to making the changes, the little step-by-step things to get us there, we chicken out.

Put the focus on you

The truth is that our goals are often huge and perhaps outside of our comfort zone (which is a good thing!). The problem is when we set expectations that are too high for ourselves, or we become too afraid of failure that we avoid taking action.

Instead of believing in our needs and wants, we focus on our doubts instead. There might be that nasty girl in your head that says you’ll ostracize yourself from others if you focus on pursuing what you want. If the people around you don’t share the same goals as you, you might worry that they’ll judge you (whether you succeed or fail).

Let's be honest, learning to value your goals and aim for your desires is the only way you are going to achieve what you want to and that in turn will help you to realise how damn worth it focusing on you is.

If you want change to happen you have to give in to the lean, realise that balance is bullshit, and get an uncomfortable feeling of putting yourself first. It's 100% okay to be a little selfish sometimes. No one else is going to stick up for your time and get the things done that you want to do, so it’s important that you keep your promises to yourself.

I encourage you to think of a goal or habit you’ve been wanting to master for a long time. Ask yourself why you haven’t been following through with it, and then make a commitment to go after what you want. After all, no one else is going to do it for you.

xx Pauline


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